Well folks, sorry I haven’t had the chance to update you all here on tumblr land, but Dammit you can’t be so needy. I’ll update when I can! Shit!

This post will be a wrap on the canadian wilderness tour we just completed, its a rapid fire post…so please try to keep up.

1) Ontario has been renamed to Overpriced Little America. if you don’t agree, then you take a trip up there and see for yourself. A country with no dollar menu is a country that I just can’t see eye to eye with.

2) Now, this one really “erks” me. Everyone around the world is always frowning upon America for being soooo unhealthy and our obesity rates are high…yadda yadda yadda. In my opinion, Canada has the biggest fat ass menu in the entire world. I mean come on, they have diners made exclusively for poutine and the McD’s serves DOUBLE BIG MACS. I shit you not. I ate one and it sat in my stomach like a brick for a week.

*note Ontario has now been renamed to Overpriced (faaatttt) Little America

3) When asking for Maple syrup, an overabundant product of Canada, Kyle was promptly corrected on its origin. Saying, “I need me some fuckin maple syrup, that shit grows on trees” a puzzled canadian then replied “IN trees kyle, [maple syrup] grows in trees.”

4) Finally, Canadian currency. Loonies, Toonies and all that BS. Listen, I’m not going to be sexist (yes I am) but Canada, you have WOMEN on your money. That makes your crappy Monopoly bullshit WORTHLESS.

Besides your epic scenery, Quality people (some areas), and delicious poutine, you really have nothing going for you Canada. Yeah, you can argue about healthcare, but I’m an American and don’t give one single fuck.

-Bryan

p.s Canada I love you, I’ll be back soon you dirrty dirrty girl you

Dear you all,

Again, I have the privilege to be writing to the world through the magical powers of the mighty internetz. Sharing with you my epic tales of tribulation…of mystery…and of prosperity (yeahhhh right). Through this tumblr comes the craziest of the crazy, shit that would make J.R.R Tolken wet his Unterwäsche

if you don’t get all the dark ages/fantasy references then you are out of the Ambush! loop. Bust out your gauntlets and your face paint, Dark Throne merchandise and Nate Frost memorabilia!! Today and every Saturday from here on out shall here be known as BlackMetal Saturdays. (the council has spoken)

From dark forests and burning churches to snow capped mountains and deathcore, I return to the subject of my trip though the Canadian wilderness. Let me first state the obvious, Its reallly fucking cold up here…like Celcius cold, and if my memory serves me right, celcius is not fahrenheit, so this American is not used to it. AND on the topic of cold, let me share with you how cold, shitty, and snooty a certain type of Canadians are. They’re called old people from Quebec City. (update will follow later) However, if I could have my way, I’d rent Chuck Norris for a day and have him do some serious weeding out of these cranky ass oldies.

Never the less, Canada has been great to me, and Ambush! for that matter (seeing as this is their tumblr and I’m too lazy to set one up myself). Canadian kids have amazing respect for US bands, supporting them any way they can. I can’t believe the friends I’ve made, the crazies I’ve had the pleasure to meet and the overall feeling of love the Canadian people have shown Ambush!

We will be back, I promise this.

-Bryan

Hardtimes.ca met up with AMBUSH! for an interview a couple nights ago in Montreal, Quebec at L’Absynth.

Here is part of the set last night that can also be found streaming on HardTimes.ca

Check the site to hear what AMBUSH! had to say in the interview!

hardtimes.ca

I woke up today completely soaked, sweating bullets in my 40 below sleeping bag. I`m not sure why exactly to tell you the truth. I wasn`t in an epic dogsledding event, or curling…No bobseldding here my friends. However, I do have an idea as to why I awoke so early, tired, stressed, and with a craaazzyy hair-do (and no its not because I haven`t showered in days either). Its actually due to the fact that I am an All-American werewolf in French Candadia.

A good friend of mine, DaveyVanna (thats right kiddos, we`re good friends him and I, Be jealous.) enlightened me via twitter about this so called TeenWolfLifestyle. Apparently, this teen wolf lifestyle is based off of the famous movie where Micheal J Fox turns into a werewolf during a basketball game. The best part, no one thinks its odd and he becomes MORE badass than he already was.

So lets review. Last night: Amazing kids that actually give a shit about music went crazy for AMBUSH! We partied with them, got loud and crazy, ate poutine, and shared funny cultural videos with one another. Good times were had by all. A true 80`s party inspired teenwolf event. AAAlllmmosstt as cool as a Blindwitness party themed music video……….almost. But I digress, amidst all the insanity I ended up on a couch in a room with 2 other half naked men. empty bottles of alcohol everwhere, and I think an old-school-ish meter hookah device of some futuristic sort.

Now, with all that said, we are back to the beginning and why I think I am actually a werewolf. For startzies, I awoke with the morning sun, or so I believe…because I haven`t seen the godforsaken sun in days because this place is a fucking prison!!! I also had blood on my hands (intense paper cut) AND the final reason(s) to why I`m an ALL-AMERICAN WEREWOLF; because I came to Canada and shot off fireworks, drank way too much caffeine, did donuts in an elementary school parking lot, ravaged the countryside of this desolate farming town, holding its people in fear and shaking the foundation of the community with my party abilities (whew runon!) Also the fact remains that I devoured massive portions of poutine while speaking horrible french phrases and not giving one single fuck.

COLLEGE, NO RULES, NO PARENTS.

French, French, French, French, French.

-Bryan.

Oh Canada, you couldn`t be filled with more surprises that bewilder my mind and make me punch my steering wheel. I find myself driving down desolate highways, with a GIGANTIC crack in our windshield due to your sub zero temperatures. We trek through your harsh conditions that only Bear Gyrlls would be crazy enough to travel in. Braving snow, ice, then snow again. I have come to believe Canada is actually Hoth. Take that for what it is, but I believe George Lucas has a little Canadian in him.

With my Garmin StreetPilot c330 GPS as my only weapon against confusing French road signs, Ambush! wages war against acres of snow packed woodlands filled with such mythical beasts as moose and reindeers. However, as I look around, I`m surrounded by mountains that rival Everest and beautiful frozen rivers. I can`t help but think that this is a very well plotted landscape scheme set up by the Canadian Government to trick Pioneers (such as myself) into wanting to live here….To that I say, “Touche Parliment, but I`m not falling for your icy deathtrap.“

With that out of the way, I`ve compiled a list of essential French sayings:

1) pourrais-je offrir a bioré

2) fait-il chaud ici, ou c`est juste vous

3) je voudrais vous voir a poli

4) bonjour, nous sommes Ambush! TABARNACK!!!

5) pas de parents, pas de régles

Look it up nerds!!!

-Bryan

p.s On one further note, Quebec`s national province soundtrack is anything released by Cult Of Luna. The counsel has spoken.

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Also, the Emilio Estevez jokes are back in action and will never cease again!!! You may remember such favorites as:

What do you call Emilio Estevez when he`s full of gold and jewels? A: Emilio Treasure Chest-evez!!

What do you call Emilio Estevez when he`s had a really bad day? A: Emilio Depressed-evez :(

Stay tuned for more!!!!!
Bon Voyage!!!!

-Gabe aka. Durkules, aka. Castle Durkenstein, aka. The Creature from the Durk Lagoon, aka. go fuck yourself Bryan Nowell…

Captain’s log, Canadia 2010

Here I am again, infront of a computer, sharing with the world, the insanity of The “America, Deal with it” Tewr with Ambush! Lets dive deep into the day to day; the gritty, untold stories that few ears have the pleasure of hearing…

The last couple of days in the Land of Ice and Snow hit us like purchasing poutine from McDonalds and thinking that it would be good dinner choice (don’t ask). We are knee deep In French Canada. No one speaks a lick of English, every frenchman hates Grant and I (another story completely) and whenever anyone speaks in this unknown/undecipherable language of “French” to THIS AMERICAN MAN, I feel like they’re always shit talking for some reason or another.

After hanging out in a condom shoppe, hanging out with pissed of Canadians fans, who received a royal ass whooping from the Rangers (Go Bruins), And EVEN after hanging out in the -10 degree celcius weather of some northern Nordic provence, which seemed to slightly resemble the town in “30 days of night”. I sit here and wonder what more does this magical, mysterious brother to the north has to offer Ambush, and myself for that matter.

The things I have gotten in return are awesome people, great turnouts, and crazy stories that you wouldn’t even start to believe.

I’ll let you know what will happen to me in my future experiences when and if I can get wifi in this Barren wasteland. I don’t know if that is a proper term here, but boy do I feel so alone…Anyways, some serious Top Ramen (please endorse us) is calling my name.

Adieu…or whatever that crap means

Bryan

Hey nerds!

Tour is going pretty well.  It is the second day in Ontario and the shows have been awesome.  We played at the Siesta Nouveux tonight in Toronto and it was rad.  The venue was a super dirty punk rock DIY place and the people were very polite and welcoming.

Both shows we were lucky enough to play with Make Do and Mend and Another Breath.  We’re currently bunked up in an apartment eating tons of Pizza Pizza and despite being broke and missing my dog, I don’t have a worry in the world.  I’ve got BBQ Munchies, a place to sleep, and good company.  Life is good.

Without Wax,

- Kyle

Dear Diary (pt.II)

A Tour life story told through the digits of Bryan: Well our first couple days in Canadia Land have been swell; We got through the border smoothly, (Thanks alexisonfire for the hookup) we drove a bunch of Kilometers after spending a bunch Monopoly money on some BS unit of measurement called Liters(?) and we got some Pizza Pizza and Aloe for foods. If you’re as confused as I am…then you my friend, are an American.

We met up with our dudes in Make Do And Mend and Another Breath, (check them out as fast as you can) and we played amazing sets to amazing kids going crazy all night.

Tomorrow we’re in Montreal, or Narnia…I’m not sure to be honest. Hopefully, I can update this with Kyle as much as I can so you can all enjoy our escapades through the icy tundra of Deutchland. Keep your eyes glued to the twitter and this tumblr. and most importantly, get on the TEENWOLF LIFESTYLE bandwagon.

Thanks and goodnight.

“College, no parents, no rules, pizza for dinner…..LITERALLY”

-Bryan

Hanging out with Joe from Positive Approach Screen Printing in Buffalo, NY today. Joe has it together, we…   don’t.

This is Waverly’s White Death and Misery also from last night @Broadway Bar

Last night’s show at Broadway Bar was sick! Best show we’ve ever played in or around New York. This is a video of our new song Sin Eater.